Are we really living?

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Recently I decided to take a step back from social media because I realized that I was entirely way too focused on other people's lives. This wasn't the first time that I had done this but this was the first time I actually analyzed why. I noticed that I was spending hours a day scrolling on my IG feed, Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat and back again looking at my "friends" live their lives. I've had conversations with my friends who are parents about their kids watching other kids play

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with the same toys that they have at home on Youtube meanwhile their toys are either left untouched or played with exactly how someone else played with them. To me this is no different than adults and social media. We're sitting there watching our peers play with our toys all while we either neglect our toys (gifts, talents, resources etc.) while ours go untouched or we try to emulate what someone else is doing to gain success.

We all know that if we didn't get a ticket to a concert, it's ok. We'll probably see every leg of the tour through Facebook Live, Instagram Live or SnapChat. (I've definitely been guilty of this.) You missed your friends birthday, no worries you can attend the same way. Weddings and Funerals aren't even safe which leads me to ask the question "Are you even paying attention and enjoying where you are?" Seriously, I've seen your kids off to school, went on your anniversary with you, I've even seen some of y'alls legs in the tub for bath time. (Don't act like you don't know the famous "me time" snap).Concert

Social media is great for entertainment, networking, keeping up with family and friends in such a mobile time but don't miss the beautiful things happening right in front of you while you're so focused on someone else's beautiful thing.

Grown?

Grown

rent, light bill, car note, cable, internet, groceries, sallie mae, water.

Triggered? I am.

THOSE ARE BILLS! For anybody who didn’t recognize what all those words had in common. bills

And for those of you who are familiar with those words, I too would like to know why we wanted to be grown so bad…and also why we have to pay for water(but thats a topic for another day). No but really, what were we thinking?????? We wanted to be able to stay up all night, yet here we are watching the clock for our bed time so we can dive straight into the bed. We wanted to be grown so we could buy all the snacks and sodas but now that we get to go to the store and get WHATEVER we want, we’re searching for super fruits and vegetables so we can “eat clean”. We thought when we were grown we were going to be able to literally do anything we wanted. Lol jokes on us.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to be the age I am but I know I’m not the only one that looks back and thinks “I had it made”. Slept in a house I didn’t have to pay for. Ate food and wore clothes I didn’t buy. Ran water way too long that I thought was free.  THE LIFE!

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If I could talk to my younger self, I would tell her to keep playing with those dolls, get in all the naps you can, enjoy that salad mama put on your plate and enjoy your childhood.

It doesn’t last long baby girl.

Socially Awkward

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Hello, My name is Neesh and I’m socially awkward…

How many times have you gone to a kickback, club, birthday dinner and there’s that one person who just doesn’t quite fit in to the group.

things-socially-awkward-people-understand-8jpgThey try to introduce themselves and stutter and fumble on their words. They try to make small talk, it falls flat. Then they usually end up “texting” or scrolling on their phone and when it’s time to go it feels like:

 

 

That person is me…

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten choked up on my words when trying to have “casual conversation” in fear of saying the wrong thing or sounding weird. Then the conversation turns into one awkward long pause followed by a couple of words…another awkward pause…and some more words until somebody finds any excuse to walk away.

As I’ve gotten older and finally managed to have decent conversations, I’ve realized that there are more socially awkward people than I thought. Some people have just gotten better at masking it than others. I also found out that I wasn’t the only one out here feeling like:images

Thanks to social media, it’s easier for us to seem social without really having to do much besides post a few cool pictures and memes every now and again but the truth always comes out when we are forced with that face to face interaction.  So if you see me in public and I don’t speak, its not because I’m rude…It’s because I’m not the best at social interactions.

But then theres always this to keep in mind:

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So I’ll just keep being my awkward self!

Love,

Neesh

 

Year of YES!!!

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On July 15, 1988 a queen was born. Who’s that you ask?? ME!!! As I sit the day after my birthday and reflect on the past year all I can do is be grateful. IMG_0761

Backstory: this time last year I was fresh(6 months)out of a horrible but necessary breakup from a very draining relationship. Never had I imagined in that broken state that I would be the happy woman I am just a year later. Not saying my life is perfect now but I’m much better off than I was.

To get to this point of happiness, I told myself I would have a “Year of Yes. I would say “yes” to as many things as I could for a full year and see where it could get me. I had gotten so down to the point that I didn’t want to leave my house but I also knew that I needed to throw myself back in the game. I decided that I would answer yes to any invitation (within reason) I was offered.

What that do for me? 

It got me out of the house!!!! I met some incredible people, had amazing experiences and I found myself again. Was it hard at first? YES! But I fought through it. I went out on days/nights when I didn’t want to ad slowly starting realizing I was having a good time and actually enjoyed being around people lol.

Did I say yes to everything?

IMG_0817No. I know that I require a certain amount of “recharging” time so I wasn’t at everything I was invited to just to make sure I maintained a healthy level of sanity but I did make sure that I said yes to more things than I said no to.

Ask yourself “How could a year of yes benefit me?” It could be for your social life, work life, starting a business etc. Then get out there and start saying yes!!!

Love,

Neesh

Are we doing it right?

So I came across this tweet the other day and it got my wheels turning.

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I saw this and started thinking about my friends and how their lives are set up. Of course I have a few friends who had a kid or 2 before they were 25 but most of us are either near 30 and still childless or had kids after obtaining at least one degree.

 

 

*DISCLAIMER: Before I get into this, I have nothing against anyone who had kids early or did not graduate from college or whatever it may be.

As I read the article that accompanied the tweet, I saw how it was comparing our (millinnials) generation to what people were doing in 1975. It basically stated that we do not see having a family as a priority and our generation is getting married and starting families older. My first thought was that societies standards are definitely higher than they were back then plus just to live a comfortable life a high school diploma just won’t cut it, unless the military is what you want.


Time passed I kind of forgot about this whole discussion, then I came across this gem:

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And BINGO!!!!!! Couldn’t have said it better myself! We’ve sat around and watched our parents live paycheck to paycheck to give us a comfortable life and don’t want to repeat that cycle. In a nutshell, we millennials just want to work smarter, not harder.

 

 

Let me know what you think in the comments!!

FOMO

IMG_0549I don’t know about y’all, but I know I find myself way too often looking scrolling down my timelines on Instagram, Twitter, FaceBook and SnapChat over and over again looking at what everybody is doing and of course it looks AMAZING!!! And what does that lead to??? FOMO.

What is FOMO?

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Thanks Urban Dictionary!


For me, FOMO usually happens when I’m sitting in the house on a Friday or Saturday night, hell any night in Houston, and start seeing people out and about in the city. In creep the thoughts “Why didn’t I know about that” “Dang, they didn’t tell me they were doing that” “They look lit!”. Even though I’m what they call a social introvert and needs lots of time to recharge between social events, I still feel that I need to be at EVERYTHING. Then the feelings set in so I make sure I make plans to run the streets so I can be out in the city moving around…but the funny thing is, once I get out and about its not always as fun as it was when I was watching on my phone.

Is there a cure for FOMO?

I’m glad you asked! Yes, there’s a cure. Do what the hell you want! Go out when you want, stay in when you want (and be confident in your decision). Also, remember that most people only put the best parts of their lives on social media so don’t feel bad when you don’t feel like you measure up. Chances are, they don’t either.

Love,

Neesh

 

 

Millennial’s Guide to Dating

Dating in 2017 is rough for millennials. We’re at a time in our lives where it feels like EVERYBODY is married and starting families. Every time you log on FB, SnapChat, Instagram there’s a wedding, sonogram, baby this baby that. It sometimes leaves me asking if God forgot me.

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Trust me I’ve had my share of bad dates and relationships but that doesn’t stop me from getting out there and trying again. It might make me sit in and consider being a cat lady (even though I can’t stand cats) but it doesn’t stop me completely.

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Here are a few things to keep in mind while maneuvering through this crazy dating life:

  1. NEVER SETTLE

Ladies (and gentlemen), never, ever, EVER lower your standards because you want a man, woman, or whatever. Now things like height, skin color, eye color etc can be compromised but never settle for being treated less than you deserve!

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  1. Treat Yo Self

Figure out what YOU like. I challenge you to sit down and write down 5 things you like to do, 5 things that make you smile, 5 things you like as gifts. This challenge is to help you figure out what things YOU like. You have to know how to keep yourself happy with or without a mate.

  1. Date yourself

It’s ok to take yourself out to eat, catch a movie by yourself, go to the museum, happy hour etc. Dating yourself gives you a chance to see how you would like to be treated. If you’re reading this and think going out with yourself is boring, think again. Plus, how can you expect someone to enjoy being around you if you don’t enjoy being around you?

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  1. Have fun until you find the one!

Yes, this sounds corny, but its true. I mean honestly…what else is there to do? Get out there, live life, have new experiences, date that guy, take that trip. Don’t sit idle waiting on anyone. Life isn’t going to stop because your single.

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  1. Love Yourself!

If you need to take breaks to care for yourself do it! YOU are whats important and if you’re not your best for you, you definitely won’t be your best for someone else. And like RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

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-Love,

Neesh