Are we really living?

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Recently I decided to take a step back from social media because I realized that I was entirely way too focused on other people's lives. This wasn't the first time that I had done this but this was the first time I actually analyzed why. I noticed that I was spending hours a day scrolling on my IG feed, Facebook, Twitter, SnapChat and back again looking at my "friends" live their lives. I've had conversations with my friends who are parents about their kids watching other kids play

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with the same toys that they have at home on Youtube meanwhile their toys are either left untouched or played with exactly how someone else played with them. To me this is no different than adults and social media. We're sitting there watching our peers play with our toys all while we either neglect our toys (gifts, talents, resources etc.) while ours go untouched or we try to emulate what someone else is doing to gain success.

We all know that if we didn't get a ticket to a concert, it's ok. We'll probably see every leg of the tour through Facebook Live, Instagram Live or SnapChat. (I've definitely been guilty of this.) You missed your friends birthday, no worries you can attend the same way. Weddings and Funerals aren't even safe which leads me to ask the question "Are you even paying attention and enjoying where you are?" Seriously, I've seen your kids off to school, went on your anniversary with you, I've even seen some of y'alls legs in the tub for bath time. (Don't act like you don't know the famous "me time" snap).Concert

Social media is great for entertainment, networking, keeping up with family and friends in such a mobile time but don't miss the beautiful things happening right in front of you while you're so focused on someone else's beautiful thing.

Grown?

Grown

rent, light bill, car note, cable, internet, groceries, sallie mae, water.

Triggered? I am.

THOSE ARE BILLS! For anybody who didn’t recognize what all those words had in common. bills

And for those of you who are familiar with those words, I too would like to know why we wanted to be grown so bad…and also why we have to pay for water(but thats a topic for another day). No but really, what were we thinking?????? We wanted to be able to stay up all night, yet here we are watching the clock for our bed time so we can dive straight into the bed. We wanted to be grown so we could buy all the snacks and sodas but now that we get to go to the store and get WHATEVER we want, we’re searching for super fruits and vegetables so we can “eat clean”. We thought when we were grown we were going to be able to literally do anything we wanted. Lol jokes on us.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to be the age I am but I know I’m not the only one that looks back and thinks “I had it made”. Slept in a house I didn’t have to pay for. Ate food and wore clothes I didn’t buy. Ran water way too long that I thought was free.  THE LIFE!

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If I could talk to my younger self, I would tell her to keep playing with those dolls, get in all the naps you can, enjoy that salad mama put on your plate and enjoy your childhood.

It doesn’t last long baby girl.

Socially Awkward

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Hello, My name is Neesh and I’m socially awkward…

How many times have you gone to a kickback, club, birthday dinner and there’s that one person who just doesn’t quite fit in to the group.

things-socially-awkward-people-understand-8jpgThey try to introduce themselves and stutter and fumble on their words. They try to make small talk, it falls flat. Then they usually end up “texting” or scrolling on their phone and when it’s time to go it feels like:

 

 

That person is me…

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten choked up on my words when trying to have “casual conversation” in fear of saying the wrong thing or sounding weird. Then the conversation turns into one awkward long pause followed by a couple of words…another awkward pause…and some more words until somebody finds any excuse to walk away.

As I’ve gotten older and finally managed to have decent conversations, I’ve realized that there are more socially awkward people than I thought. Some people have just gotten better at masking it than others. I also found out that I wasn’t the only one out here feeling like:images

Thanks to social media, it’s easier for us to seem social without really having to do much besides post a few cool pictures and memes every now and again but the truth always comes out when we are forced with that face to face interaction.  So if you see me in public and I don’t speak, its not because I’m rude…It’s because I’m not the best at social interactions.

But then theres always this to keep in mind:

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So I’ll just keep being my awkward self!

Love,

Neesh